hopelessi watch through my red eyes.. and squint as the truth hits me like a laser beam..
he's not looking at me. NO. he doesn't even know I'm there...
And just like that, my eyes well up.. and i look down at my hands.. my wrectched palms.. the stupid lines of destiny..of supposed love. and life.
And i simply wish i would die.. Right there, right then. In front of him. How dramatic. Martyrdom..kind of.
I look at the orange-y bits of your being and blink. i devour you with my eyes. I try to send desperate mssages to your brain. But you have switched off long ago. I keep trying. You look up and i shoot you an inevitable smile and you look away before my lips can relax...Ah.
You offer me a chair.. you get me a drink and i dance within my self, rejoice, sing...
Its my lucky day.
And just as i look up to thank you again, i see your back..
You're greeting someone..
You laugh again.
I'm jealous. I want to be your friend.
You start walking away..
A stab of despair pierces me.. i stand up and excuse myself.
what will i do anyway? i thinka nd walk.. and walk without thinking.. i walk past him.. and my hearts thudding. I go to the Ladies. I come out. you've disappeared,
I go back and sit where i was sitting. I'm cryign within. I'm dead. I dont laugh, i dont do anything.
That night i dream of orange hopes lying shattered on the ground..