Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Murder of my soul....

sad, sad me.
sad, sad world.

Sadness diffusing into the already depressing atmosphere, suffocating, kiling.
Killed in a wink, waiting for something- a miracle almost - your return.
Is this martyrdom?

Martyrs go to heaven. But there must be a fineprint, here somewhere.
Does the ticket to heaven apply to me?
Time stops. Limbo. Torture.
Floating midway, imagining the worst.

Deja vu'. It's happened before.
I've been through this and I know how it'll go....
as soon as heaven opens its gate, and i sigh in relief,
I'm pulled back here, to go through this again.
Sickening doom.
Repeated murder,
of my soul and my hope....

Oh God, stop this.