Science or humanities? Psychology or journalism?
So we've finally come to that part of of our lives(my class-mates and I) where we are being bombarded with lectures on how we might not pass and end up in the same class if we flunk one of the major subjects.This info. is not really new but the way in which they are trying to drill it into our brains is aweful. The cloud of misery could actually be seen hanging over our heads as Our Science Teacher told us about the division between the science and humanities group. God1 I can not even decide what to take and which subjects to drop.........
Am I more into psychology? or Do i want to do journalism? What about corporate Law? ARGHHHHHHH
i could actually keep this decision for later by taking Biology and all the humanities subjects.......because doing psychology requires biology and not the other science fields. And humanities will keep the option open for other fields........sigh......
The problem is: I have to pass all the subjects. I've never flunked a subject ever before but i'm still scared like hell....u never know....OMG!
I feel older.Older and more mature. I don;t know why though.
"The best thing about egoists is that they don't talk about other people"
hmm sooo true but then they only talk about themselves......and if they didn't they wouldn't be egoists.......and if they aren't egoists , they'll talk about other people....and then they'lll be bad!hmmmmm. Why is the other option for anything , an extreme?
Why do we see more extremists? Either toooo conventional or tooo modern....Why can't we find normal human beoings who are neither egoists nor back-biters? hmmmm
While i was eating a little while ago, one of my weird food-cravings.....
I saw an article on this bit of paper in which the naan was covered.....It was about "Emotions going electronic" or something like that.
In it the person was commenting on how we are becoming more and more machine-oriented. Though she didn't sound like she was against the whole chatting and emoticons dramam i feel it is going out of control. Example is myself. One day of not sitting on this chair and yours truly feels so incomplete............
Chatting makes you more awkward when you are talking to people live.....Is this true? I hope not.....One of my strengths: I can talk to people easily....don't want that to go! But maybe yeah....
Chating is very effective when when you want to say somewthing terrible and hurtful because you never se ethe persons reaction to make you feel guilty....you never know....i might be crying at this moment but apperaing calm and normal when you're reading this....the wonders of the internet...............
science or humanities? hmm? hmm?
i might do stats privately....or computers.
Shalwaars and Cellphones,,,,,,,,,,,,
Today my friend experienced something very weird and memorable............
Our principal decided that she would check the bags of the people in grade 8 for cell-phones.As we are next to them, we came to know about this, fortunately. We saw a line outside our class which was refusing to move. This distracted yours truly, and she asked a girl who caught her eyes about what was happening. The result was the girl closing the first three fingers of her hand and sticking out the thumb and fore-finger.This hand , she held up to her ears to indicate a phone. I understood immediately and called out
My friend decided that the only safe place for her darling cell was her undewear. Hence she took her cell and started stuffing it in her shalwaar. Since this was a rare sight , i watched her intently, and then burst out laughing...
"What if starts viberating yaar?" i asked her.
She looked at me with wide eyes and then both of us burst out laughing........
The rest of the day went by with my friend refusing to move from her chair and asking if the cell was showing through her shalwar or not.. Tired of this, as it was not funny anymore i was about to tell her that the Ultra violent rays from the cell were affecting her, when she said ,"I smell like a boiled egg" sniffing her arms...
I laughed so hard that i got stitches in m,y side. After-effects of U.V rays indeed
So this was the story of Sana and the shalwarr.....:P:P:P
You pricked me yet again,
Another pin of sarcasm and hurt
You pierced it through my skin.
I feel so miserable.
Amazed and Mesmerized I looked,
At all the pins in me,
Forming a symbolic pattern,
Pattern of my life.
Erratic and Sporadic,
Gross through and through.
I don't want to live.
Pain all through.
Don't do this to me.
Or I'll go mad.
Don't hurt me more!
Just leave me and I'll die____
I'll be peaceful and eternal atlast, friend of the skies.........
its 10:56 and too early to sleep seriously....................Oh yes even if my eyes are desperate to get a rest, and i am literally swaying to and fro BUT no! its just 11 No way am I sleeping so early......hahahahha
an example of pure Stubborness.....................
I should be called Miss Stubborn Ass.........hahahah M.S.A for short........
So miss M.S.A decided that she will not complain about the fact that no one bothers to comment on my blog....hmmppphh....except Saurabh and Sadia......sweet people......
My sweet cousin reads my blog but has certain reservations about the whole thing......like she never comments...No matter what.....weird or what?
Dija! u listening? Me want comments....
Saurabh is just too sweet .....HE COMMENTS....
AND SADIA IS MY DARLING.....
Talking about Sadia.....(my other friend sadia) I finally talked to her.Afetr a period of depression i went through because i thought she was ignoring me.......I finally realized that she was just sort of taking time-out or whatever you call it.....
Sometimes I wonder.....If i take time-out and not talk to my friends just so I can relax and totally ignore all of my friends how will they feel? Will they even notice? Or they might just not care?
Oh that would be soo bad......This is depressing me....
sometimes i think about the time when I'll die.....Will anyone rmemeber me? Will anyone care enough to think of me? Will i have any value even if I won't be present in this world? Will there ever be another Me? will people close to my heart feel an empty space where I left them?
will they? or will they not?
Am I that significant in anyone's life?
Can i ever be?
I don't think so......I don't know! I don'r know what to think........
My mum just gave me a huge lecture on how I'm just not helping her around the house.........
Urghhh its sooo bugging when you are reading a good book or writing and Your Mum comes into your room or make that barges into your room and says
"I want to talk to you"
At that precise moment I always feel like screaming and stamping my feet and just throwing things on the floor or smashing them on the wall BUT i guess ii can't reallly do all of what I want to do....so instead I ut down my book with great effort and folded my legs which was a signal for my Mum , in a away as she just shot off after that.....
It felt like she had kept quite a few complaints about me inside her and so now that she got half a chance she just blew off, complaints spewing out of her mouth like foam...........the list went like this
1-I do no clean my room before two months.
2- I am very careless about my own stuff.
3-I don not help her around the house.
4-Maths marks are veryyyyyyyyyyy bad.
5-Not exactly being polite these days.
6- Reading soo many books is making me weird and moody.
7-I write depressing poems which worries her.
8-No one would want me as their daugher-in-law.
9-I'm getting fatter.
10- I don't exactly give a damn about any of the above...
Well after hearing this whole long speech, i really started to worry......Nos. 1-8 didnot matter much.....Hmm do i care if someone would want me as their daughter-in-law?
For God's sake...........I mean ok...it might worry my Mom but this thing worrying any 15-year-old only means she is either crazy or .......CRAZZZYYYYY (:P)
About the part where my Mom mentioned that i was growing more and more fat by the day, I'm really worried about it.I mean its sooo true. Its not like any of my clothes are getting tight or anything But i do feel them getting a bit snug..............
I just re-reead Kartography by Kamila Shamsie.God1 its awesome....No words to explain the beauty of the words in it. As i've mentioned before, I love to read books by Kamila Shamsie.I've already read Salt and Saffron and also Broken Verses by her. In Kartography, there are all those wonderful anagrams like "the road leading to the airport" became "Pin my aorta or glide to death" and "cartographer" became "chop Ra's garter" etc etc. This book is all about the Civil War in 1971 and Karachi as it has evolved over the time. I love it when Kamila writes:
"Can angels lie spine-to-spine? If not, How they must envy us humans"
and also when she writes:
"Do all tentacled creatures produce ink? Does the cuttlefish? Can you write on the waves with Cuttle-ink?"
The book is so imginative and speculative..........
The part where Karim and Raheen (the two friends) imagine that the cotton bolls were clouds descending from heaven to rest on the ground. And Karim says:
"Look Ra I found you an angel in disguise"
An in his palm was a small red lady-bird.
"If i rub its back will my finger come of red?"
Its amazing how everything seems beautiful from Kamila's point of view
I'll add more stuff about the book later....
Oh the ecstacy of having holidays , be it a single-day hol or a forty-five days hol..........
BUT that ecstacy is going to end today....TOMORROW IS A SCHOOOL DAY............
wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... NO FAIR
well I guess life isn't fair:P
anyway I have nothing great to offer here....Just boring stuff........
Well let me tell you about the time I went to the psychiatry ward.......Well my friend Maheen and I had gone there out of sheer curiosity...or maybve it was because we wanted to see our ultimate destination:P
Well we went to Jinnah Hospital one fine day with M's mum who's a doctor in some other ward.Khair we were walking towards the ward when this man came running towards us shouting"Doctor Sahiba, Doctor Sahiba" Apparently, M's mum was used to this because she appeared really calm and said"Mein yahn ki Doctor nahi hoon" with a soothing tone.......unfortunately at that verry moment, i miled .I don't know why but I did. So, that man looked at me with blazing eyes and whispered"Yeh hospital hai, idher hanso mat!!!!!!!"
AND that freaked me out soo bad.
Then we went to the psychiatry ward which was ina deplorable state....I regretted coming here the minute we entered it. M's mum was looking at us expectantly.So M and I walked into the children's ward and went to the nearest bunk. There was this cute girl lyin with her mother on her side. We loooked ateach other, not knowing what to do. Then I cleared my throat and asked her name.She juat stared. After 2 minutes of continuously asking i gave up on her. Maheen said that w should pretend we were making a report so taht someone might respond.M took out a writing pad and pretended to scribble.
Finally we came out and told M's mum taht she could go and we would look around as her presence was making us uncomfortable. She introduced us to the doctor who was Dr. Ayesha.She was a sweet lady. Khair we went to the main room where the doctors sat and made reports etc. There were two lady docs including Ayesha, and two male ones, One a fat balloon kind of man and the other a thin twig-like man. Twiggy or Genie as we called him because of his weird bbeard was scribbling something onto some papers and wasn't looking up at all.Ayesha introduced us to the other lady who was snoozing and just blinked in responce. The fattie ignored us (he was the head doc as we found out later) and genie didn't look up. Ayesha was impreessed because no one came here just to look around.Well then we sat there in silence as Ayesha was talking to Snoozy. Mahhen took this very opurtunity to beckon towards genie. I ignored her as my Mum called asking me the time she should pick me up. I went out answering the cell. When i came back M had moved a chair to the left and snoozy wa ssitting on the right. There was only one place left which was next to Genie. I refused to sit next to him and glared at maheen. Then I had too and M aheen started grinning like a maniac. Once Genie looked up made a sour face and resumed writing. I was feeling uncomfortabel as Genie was verry young.i STARTED TO WONDER how efficiently studying could ruin a nice guy. mAHEEN STARTED NUDGING ME AND WINKING. khair finally the rounds began and we went with all the docs. As i stood up maheen tried to trip me so i almost fell on top of Genie.He just looked ta me .
After the rounds, We were staning in the corridor ready to leave when this woman came upto me and saidd "Tum, ne danton mein taar lagaya hai?"(have you got wire on your teeth?)
I was like "Haan braces hain"
She said:"Danton ko baand dia hai?"(Have you tied your teeth up) with great big eyes.
I wa sflustered because M was trying not to giggle and was making me laugh. I said:Haan!
She said :Poori bhateesi lagai hai?(have you got the whole jaw made?)
but unfortunately M and I thought she said
"batian lagai hain?(have you put in shiny lights)
This cracked us up so bad and I just sadi "NAHI!"
but then when i understood the question i said"No daanth merey hain, taar unka hai(doc ka?)
meaning the teeth are mine, the wire is the doc's .
This wasn't so funny but thsi marke dthe end of the trip. Spluttering and giggling we ran out of the ward and a soon as I came near the spot where we had met the man, I quieted down and beacme solemn. He just glared at me with disdain.
Lolz............so tahst it ....can't wait to go there again.....ciao
Ninth Of Muharram
I pay my respect to the Martyrs of Karbala.................................and I'm verrry sorry for playing the music and watching t.v.
But I'm sure you don't mind the internet....Umm atleast I hope so...............
We're going to Karachi University and the Chemistry lab ...COOL or what?
I mean doesn't the Centrifuge machine give you orgasms?
Doesn't Chromatography turn you on?
And don't forget the lovely whale skeleton!
Oh yes............I HATE MY CLASS FELLOWS.............................urghhh women get a life..........Allah aap ko zindagi de.......TAKE MY LIFE TOO.................i don't want to go there.......
There we were dreaming of going to Lahore.....oh the lovely city or whatever and then we were like ok fine....yes yes Tharparker is fine too,........ANYWHERE but karachi.........please....and GUESS WHAT?
we get to go to the bloody KARACHI university....not even fucking hyderabad........not even the beach come to think about it..........OH NO!
Our field trip has to be EDUCATIONAL!
when my two little ears heard this oh-so-wonderful news from our very own science teacher......would you belive my emotions.......I just heard OH MISS THE KARACHI UNIVERSITY? OH WOW........and i wanted to die. Just like that..I waited for the 'whoooooooosh' sound of the Angel of Death descending from heaven to take my traumatized soul and give it a rest......How i would have haunted those miserable creatures........seriously...HEY maybe my body would be kept in the University and then they'd go to see me...........EWWWWWW anywhere but the karachi University plzz God have mercy on me...........
Once again we'll go through the experience of going toa toatallly boring place as a field trip like we went to Mohatta Palace.......there was this exhibition about Jinnah....and OH did we see Jinnah....He was everywhere.NeVER had I ever seen sooo many pictures, portraits and paintings of Jinnah.Sheesh he must have been a famous model....There was jinnah lying on a bundle of hay, there he was with a cigar in his mouth, there he was in a horse carriage, there ina cowboy hat, there huggin someone, there kissing someone, there having dinner , another depicting him reading a newspaper.....................................
I magine ..........................It was a bit weird seeing The Father of the Nation being soo.... umm excuse me for saying this.....Human. Lol
But in the end , the sad part is ....We will go to that bloody University and yes that will be the only trip anywhere for the whole fucking year..........................
.................................................poor li'l moi